Who Are You? Who Am I?
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: On the planet Ida the Golden Moon festival is a time of great joy and peace. Unfortunately for the Doctor and his companions a face from the Doctor's past leads them into more danger than they could have ever bargained for. 10.5/Rose 11/Rose Amy/Rory
1. Chapter 1: An Old Friend, A New Ally

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 1: An Old Friend, A New Ally**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Doctor Who and am making no profit off of this story. This is purely for fun and to hopefully entertain some people on the site. So don't sue me because I have no money in the first place.**

**A/N: Okay, my first ever 11/Rose story. I really like this idea and hopefully I can stretch it out over a few chapters. I would ver much appreciate some feedback on this newest idea of mine. This is NOT connected to and will not reference any of my other Doctor Who stories.**

"I'm bored," Amy remarked as she walked into the console room to find the Doctor fiddling with the controls. They'd been drifting through the time vortex for hours now.

The Doctor turned to Amy with an expression of pure indignance on his face "Bored, BORED? Amy, you're in the TARDIS the best, the most amazing ship in all the Universe, no one and I mean NO ONE is allowed to be bored here."

"Well I am," Amy stated plainly.

"Ge exploring," the Doctor suggested.

"Done that," Amy replied.

"Are you sure you've seen everything?" the Doctor asked "The TARDIS is clever, she likes to hide little surprises."

"I don't want to go exploring anymore," Amy replied.

It was at that moment that Rory walked into the console room "I'm bored," he stated as he came to stand beside his wife.

The Doctor threw his hands in the air "Honestly Ponds," he complained "What am I supposed to do with you?"

At the very moment that he stopped speaking, the TARDIS began to shake violently, throwing all of her occupants to the floor. The Doctor was the first on his feet and at the console before Amy or Rory had had time to pull themselves together.

"What's happening?" Amy yelled as she clutched at the railing beside her husband.

"Well," the Doctor called back over the sound of the TARDIS "I don't exactly know!"

"What?" Amy and Rory shouted in unison, more out of indignation than out of fear that they hadn't heard him properly.

"One thing's for sure!" the Doctor yelled gleefully "This is certainly going to be the cure for your boredom."

"I'd take being bored over this any day!" Rory yelled as a particularly violent jolt sent him to the floor yet again.

"Doctor!" Amy shouted as she landed on top of her husband and attempted to pull herself upright again "Do something!"

"I'm trying!" he replied as he attempted to balance himself while frantically working the controls "Nothing's responding!"

Amy growled as she gripped the railing with white knuckles, just managing to keep on her knees. Rory fell into her side and she managed to steady him. The two huddled together as the TARDIS continued to shake around them.

When the ship's shuddering had finally calmed the Doctor looked to his companions "Well," he told them "We've landed."

"Yeah," Amy remarked "But where?"

"Only one way to find out," the Doctor answered as he headed for the TARDIS doors. He paused when he noticed that neither Amy nor Rory had moved from their crouched positions. "Well, come on," in what was meant to be an encouraging tone but held a definite tone of annoyance to it.

Amy stood up first, offering a hand to her husband "Well, we wanted excitement," she remarked "Nobody but ourselves to blame."

Rory walked in step with his wife after the Doctor but said nothing as they exited the TARDIS. The group emerged into a rather dark cobblestone alley. It was obviously nighttime and an eerie light and misty rain fell.

Amy looked up to the sky to see three moons, one was rusty red and crescent shaped, the second was blue and a bit more than half full, the third and by far the brightest and largest moon was golden and full.

"Where are we Doctor?" Amy questioned, hoping that the seasoned traveler of space and time would have figured out their location by now.

The Doctor studied his surroundings carefully before responding "Maladorius," he answered finally.

"What's so important about the planter Maladorius?" Rory asked.

The Doctor spun around to face his companions "Maladorius isn't a planet, it's a rather large island nation on the planet Ida."

"Never mind about that," Amy broke in quickly before the Doctor could go off on one of his rants "Why did the TARDIS bring us here?"

"I don't know that yet Amy," the Doctor shot back, his tone sounding slightly accusatory "Maybe if you two would stop asking questions for a moment-"

There was a sound of tiny scampering paws coming down the alley, a tin can clanging as the small creature knocked it over and a shriek of terror from somewhere nearby that frightened the animal. The small critter jumped into the air with magnificent agility and landed inexplicably on Amy's shoulder.

Amy looked up at the small furry thing. It had the agile and sleek body and tale of a cat but the head and floppy ears of a dog. It's eyes were wide with fear and glowed bright violet.

The Doctor was to preoccupied with locating the source of the scream to explain to Amy about the harmless nature of the creature. He pulled his ultraviolet portable sunlight light wand and began searching the ground with it. It wasn't long before he located the source of the shriek.

She was human, staring at him with wide brown eyes. Her blond hair falling haphazardly in her face. Blood trickled down the side of her head and her clothes were torn in several places. She was a right mess but the Doctor would know her anywhere.

"Rose," he murmured, dropping to his knees beside her "What happened to you?"

There was no spark of recognition in her eyes. She scooted backwards and away from him, pulling her knees up to her chest "Who are you?" she asked.

"Rose, it's me," he said quietly, staying where he was so as not to frighten her "The Doctor."

"Rose," she repeated "Is that my name? Who am I?" her eyes clenched shut tightly "I can't… I can't remember," she shook her head violently as she began to cry.

"Come here," the Doctor said gently, holding out his arms to her "Let me help you."

Rose opened her eyes and stared at him for a long moment in confusion. She silently slid closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, still crying "I'm scared," she whispered.

The Doctor rubbed comforting circles on her back with one hand "I know," he whispered soothingly "Don't worry, I promise I'll help you."

XXX

"Who is she?" Amy asked as the Doctor scanned a now unconscious Rose with equipment from the TARDIS infirmary.

"Her name is Rose Tyler," the Doctor replied, not looking up.

"Yeah," Amy nodded "You told me and Rory that part already but who is she, to you?"

The Doctor paused and looked up at Amy. The Ossynx from earlier was still perched on her shoulder. He took a deep breath "An old friend," he replied simply, hoping desperately that Amy would drop it.

Thankfully she did. Amy and the Ossynx left the infirmary and headed to the room that Amy shared with Rory.

"_I hope that I did not cause any harm to the Rose Tyler,_" a voice suddenly popped into Amy's head.

Amy turned to look at the black and deep blue fur covered creature on her shoulder "Did you say something?" she asked, feeling absolutely foolish.

"_I did not mean to frighten you Mistress Amy,_" there was that voice again. It sounded oddly human, young but wise. The voice sounded comforting in Amy's mind.. "_My species are telepathic in nature. Please do not be afraid. This is simply how I communicate._"

Amy smiled a bit "No, it's fine," she said out loud. A moment later she thought of something "Just how telepathic are you? I mean, can you read my thoughts?"

"_No Mistress Amy,_" the creature replied "_Not without your permission and physical contact between my cranium and yours._"

"Oh," Amy replied, feeling a little more secure with the idea "Why would you think that you hurt Rose?"

"_When I saw her,_" the Ossynx began "_I attempted to make contact with her mind. Normally I would want permission for that but she appeared to be in such distress that I had to know what happened to her. My effort to make contact seemed to have frightened her though. It brought her out of unconsciousness and caused her to scream, frightening me._"

"What did you see?" Amy asked, curiously.

The Ossynx was quiet, his violet eyes growing sullen in appearance "_Darkness_," he replied "_Her own mind is hiding her memory from her. She seems to be in some sort of self preservation mode._"

"Amnesia," Amy stated "We call it amnesia. And the Doctor already said that she didn't know who she was…"

The Ossynx hopped down from Amy's shoulder and looked up at her "_This Doctor of yours, will he be able to help her?_" he asked.

"Of course he will," Amy stated with absolute certainty, bending down to the small creature "Don't worry about it. He said she's an old friend of his. I'm sure the TARDIS brought us here especially to find her."

Amy didn't realize yet that Rose wasn't the only reason that the TARDIS had brought them to this place. And as she knelt there, stroking the fur of the tiny creature she couldn't imagine how big a role that little Ossynx would play in the adventure that was to come.

**A/N: So Rose has somehow ended up on some random planet, having obviously been through some sort of horrific trauma and has amnesia. And Amy is bonding with some little furry puppy kitten thingy. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2: Hello Stranger

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 2: Hello Stranger**

**A/N: Thank you wonderful people for officially making this my most reviewed Doctor Who story so far. I must point out right now that I'm totally making this up as I go along and so plot holes are to be expected and run-on sentences are a way of life for me so be patient and keep reviewing. Reviews feed my muse and keep her from running off to go get pizza that she never shares with me.**

Rose awoke with a head full of fuzziness to find the same strange man from earlier standing over her, a concerned expression on his face. She adjusted herself in the bed so that she was more comfortable and offered the stranger a wan smile "Hello," her throat was a little scratchy and her words sounded a bit raspy at first.

Almost instantly, the man was holding a glass of water out to her. She attempted to sit up but fell back against the pillows, her strength failing her.

"Let me help you," the man offered, supporting her upper body as she took the glass in trembling hands and tipped it to her lips. After a few careful sips she lowered it and he took it from her, setting it on a side table before lowering her gently back onto the pillows.

"Thanks," she murmured a bit sheepishly. This man obviously knew her but she had no idea who he was. She remembered vaguely that he had called himself the Doctor when she'd first seen him crouched down beside her. She cleared her throat nervously "Doctor…?" she began hesitantly.

"Yes Rose?" the Doctor replied with hope in his voice as he leaned closer

"Do I know you from somewhere?" her face was screwed up in concentration as she attempted to pull out memories that were beyond her reach at that moment.

"You wouldn't remember this face," he chuckled slightly.

"You never said your name," Rose said finally, her face relaxing and her eyes closing "Maybe a name would help me place you."

"I doubt that," the Doctor replied "You see, it's just 'the Doctor' that's all."

"Doctor who?" Rose questioned "The Doctor isn't a proper name."

"Get some rest," the Doctor told her as he pulled away from her, old memories stabbing him through his hearts.

"Alright," Rose conceded "Good night Doctor," she yawned before drifting off.

The Doctor watched over her until she was asleep. He had done what he could to heal her head wound and other various other recent injuries that he wondered how she could have acquired. The injuries were quite disturbing to say the least. If she'd been in an Earth hospital it would have been months before she was healed but thanks to the TARDIS infirmary, it's advanced medical technology and the Doctor's vast knowledge of how to treat such injuries, all Rose need do was rest now and her strength would return to her within a few days time.

Her memories were another issue entirely though. The Doctor had determined that the head trauma had not been the primary cause of the amnesia. The memory loss seemed more psychological than physical and he feared what Rose, his Rose, who had seen the end of the world and had faced unspeakable monsters, could have seen to frighten her so bad that she would lock herself away in the recesses of her mind.

He watched her and lovingly pulled the blankets over her shoulders. He didn't want to leave her alone in the infirmary in case she woke up and was confused but he had to attend to other matters. The mystery of how she ended up on Ida still needed solving and without Rose's memories to aid him, he would just have to investigate this mystery on his own.

He found a piece of paper and scrawled a note to Rose in case she did wake before he returned. He folded the note over once and placed it beside the glass of water on the side table. Before he turned to leave he allowed himself one last lingering look at her sleeping form "I will figure this out," he whispered to her "I promise you."

XXX

Puck, as Amy had taken to calling the Ossynx, who seemed insistant that it was his mistress's place to name him, was wandering the halls of the TARDIS. He had left Amy and Rory to do some exploring on his own. It was in his wanderings that he came upon the Doctor. He scurried to the Time Lord's side.

"_Hello!_" the eager Ossynx projected into the Doctor's mind.

"Well, hello you," the Doctor bent down to face the little creature. Even crouching the man towered over the small being.

"_It's Puck,_" Puck informed him, placing his front paws on the Doctor's knees so that he could draw himself up to face the man.

"Puck," the Doctor repeated "Well that's a fine name. So you'll be staying on with us then."

"_Yes,_" Puck's eyes glowed just a little bit brighter "_I have decided that Mistress Amy and Master Rory will be my family. They were accepting of the idea._"

The Doctor rested a hand on Puck's fur covered head "You have chosen well little fellow," he informed the creature "Now if you don'g mind, I'd like to talk to you-"

"_About your Rose Tyler,_" Puck finished "_I am afraid I may have done her ill. How does she fair?_"

"Her injuries will heal," the Doctor told the small beast, trying to hide how many emotions Rose's sudden appearance had caused him. "Your forced mind probe doesn't seem to have done anything more than startled her. What did you see when you entered her mind?"

"_Shadows_," Puck replied "_Something dark has befallen her Doctor, something so dark that she can't face it. I know nothing more than this._"

"That's what I figured," the Doctor murmured.

"_Begging your pardon Doctor but as a Time Lord, you could perform a mind probe of your own. As she is known to you, perhaps your intrusion would be more acceptable?_" Puck suggested.

The Doctor looked down upon the diminuatve but knowledgeable creature "I, well, it wouldn't be proper of me…" he trailed off, not being able to complete the sentence. He was afraid, he was afraid of the things he might find. Not just of finding out what happened to Rose but of seeing any and all of Rose's feelings towards him. There were things that could be blocked by someone whose mind was being delved into for information but emotions were very powerful things and very hard to block and he would almost certainly be berated by them. He didn't want to know what Rose felt, how her feelings for him changed after he left her and the metacrisis Doctor on Bad Wolf Bay. In some ways, it was a blessing that she couldn't remember him.

"_It's very fortunate that you arrived when you did to find her,_" Puck remarked as the Doctor stood up again and continued walking in the direction of the console room.

"Yes," the Doctor murmured to himself "Lucky…"

XXX

Rose's eyes opened slowly. She found that she was alone in the infirmary. She sat up cautiously, finding it much easier than the last time she attempted it. She surveyed the room and quickly noticed the note that the Doctor had left beside her water glass on the side table. She reached for it and unfolded it.

_Dear Rose,_

_If you are reading this then you've woken up and I'm not there. Don't be alarmed. I'm probably in the console room or the library, or the study, or the kitchen… Ask the TARDIS, she'll know where I am._

_The Doctor_

Rose folded the paper again and placed it back on the table. She slid her legs over the side of the bed and examined her attire. She remembered that the clothes she'd been wearing when the Doctor had found her in the alley had been inexplicably and horribly torn. Now she was dressed in a pair of white pajama pants and a soft to the touch pink top.

The thought crossed her mind that the Doctor must have dressed her and she found herself blushing at the realization. She smiled to herself. She may not remember who she was or what happened to her but at least she was in the care of such a kind man as the Doctor. Somehow she had this feeling that she could trust him.

She slid from the bed and stood up, testing her balance. She was a bit wobbly at first but she managed to steady herself. She tried a tentative step, then another and before she knew it, she was standing at the door of the room. She quickly found herself in the hallway outside and began to walk the halls.

She trailed the halls like a ghost, unsure of her place in the Universe until she came to the top of a staircase. She looked down into what appeared to be a large control room of some kind. Curiosity getting the better of her, she descended the stairs into the room. It was empty. Somehow she'd expected the Doctor to be here though she didn't know why.

She took a seat and stared at the massive place, biding her time until someone showed up.

XXX

The Doctor was standing in the alley where he had found Rose the previous night, using the sonic screwdriver in an attempt to track down any sort of anomaly that could have brought her to that place. He had little success. However she'd been brought through the Void to this universe it hadn't been in this place.

He expanded his search beyond the alley, walking out on the bustling streets of Maladorius. At first glance nothing seemed to be out of place. Venders were busy selling fruit and pastries and other such things. Idan children were yelling joyously as they ran around, their parents attempting and failing to reign them in.

The Doctor looked down as he felt a tug on his pant leg "For you," an Idan girl smiled up at him, holding out a bouquet of purple, red and yellow flowers "Happy Golden Moon Festival," the child said before scampering off.

The Doctor slapped his forehead "The Golden Moon or Ida!" he said in realization. The Golden Moon was full for only two weeks of the Idan year, placing it in optimal position to harness the unique energy of Ida as well as its sister planet Pog. Not even the Doctor knew what was possible with that kind of power. It was much more mysterious and precisely two thousand fifty seven times more potent than the heart of the TARDIS.

He decided he would head back to the TARDIS to run some scans on the Golden Moon to see if anyone had been trying to hijack that energy for their own purposes. On his way back a young Idan woman stopped him and offered him a small bag of biscuits "May the Goddess of the Golden Moon be with you," she said with a smile.

"Thanks," the Doctor replied, smiling politely as he accepted the gift. If he remembered correctly, the Golden Moon Festival on Ida was a time of gift giving, especially to strangers.

The biscuits smelled heavenly. A quick once over with the sonic told him that they would not prove poisonous to him or his companions. He popped one into his mouth just to try it. It was quite good, like raspberries and cream. He tried not to finish the entire bag before he returned to the TARDIS. It seemed the older he got the more he enjoyed sweets.

Upon his return to the TARDIS he found Rose sitting in the console room, staring off into space.

She turned to face him when he was within a few feet "Hello," she smiled.

"Hello," he returned her smile, taking a seat beside her "Good to see you up and about."

"I wondered where you were," she said a bit quietly as if she was nervous to admit that fact "When I woke up I mean…"

"Oh," he nodded "I left you a note."

"Yeah," she nodded "I found it. What did you mean by 'Ask the TARDIS'? What's a TARDIS?"

"Oh," he said in realization. Of course she wouldn't remember. "This," he gestured to their surroundings "This is the TARDIS, my ship."

"Like a spaceship?" Rose asked, the calmness of her tone when she asked that question took her by surprise. Why wasn't she more shocked by the possibility of a spaceship?

"Yeah," the Doctor replied "Like a spaceship," he smiled and offered her the bag of biscuits "Hungry?"

"Starving," she replied, reaching in and pulling out one of the alien treats. She turned it over in her hand, examining it "Is it safe to eat?" she questioned, wrinkling her nose at it's appearance.

"Perfectly," the Doctor replied.

His word seemed to be enough for her and she popped the biscuit into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully and smiled "It's good," she said finally.

The Doctor chuckled.

There was a moment of silence before Rose spoke again "So if this is a spaceship, are we on another planet then?"

"Yeah," the Doctor replied.

"Where are we?" Rose questioned.

"Ida," the Doctor replied.

"Ida?" Rose questioned "Is that a planet? Sounds like somebody's aunt."

"It's a planet," the Doctor confirmed "Would you like me to take you on a tour?"

Rose's eyes brightened and she smiled that smile of hers, tongue between teeth and all "That would be brilliant!" she exclaimed.

The Doctor stood up and extended a hand to her. She accepted it and together they exited the TARDIS. When Rose turned around to look at the ship, the Doctor was expecting her to gape in amazement but for she didn't.

"It's bigger on the inside," Rose's utterance was more of a statement than anything else "How did I know that?" she asked the Doctor "All these amazing things, a spaceship that's bigger on the inside, another world. These things should terrify me, shouldn't they? Why aren't they then?" silence followed her question "Answer me Doctor," she demanded in a tone that the Doctor was all too familiar with.

"I can't Rose," he replied "In amnesia cases like yours, the memories need to come back on their own."

"Isn't there anything you can do?" she asked.

"Mind probe," he replied.

"What?" she questioned.

"I'd go into your mind and-"

"Go into my mind?" Rose asked indignantly. She knew that she trusted this man but there was a limit. "Why on Earth would I let you do a thing like that."

"We're not on Earth," the Doctor defended weakly.

Rose turned from him to face the alley in which the TARDIS sat. She started walking off in a huff when she reached the end of the alley and looked around. In a matter of seconds she was in a heap, the heels of her hands pressed into her eyes as she wailed.

The Doctor was at her side in an instant, pulling her into his arms and holding her close to him "You're safe," he whispered "It's alright, it's alright."

"I was running…" she whispered through her tears, pulling her hands from her eyes and throwing her arms around the Doctor's neck "I… I… don't want to be here anymore."

The Doctor stood up slowly, keeping Rose in his arms "It's alright," he whispered as he walked back to the TARDIS with her "I won't let anything hurt you. I promise."

**A/N: So, what did you think? Please review and keep my muse at home where she belongs.**


	3. Chapter 3: Flashes in the Dark

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 3: Flashes in the Dark**

**A/N: Wow, you guys rock! I do this for you, all of you who reviewed but a special dedication goes out to mmgage for the extra wonderful review and for feeding my muse with a pizza shaped review to boot. Warning: Evilness ahead, please don't hate me for my slightly twisted nature but things have to be explained and connected and really, it's no more twisted than the show itself… I hope. Please enjoy.**

Puck was curled up on the bed between Amy and Rory, reveling in the attention that he was receiving from the couple. Amy was rubbing small circles into his belly fur and Rory was ruffling the Ossynx's ears fondly. It hadn't taken long for either of them to accept Puck. As Rory said, there was just something so endearing about the little bugger.

Amy rested her head upon her husband's shoulder "He never really talks about himself you know," she was referring to the Doctor "I've never heard him mention Rose before."

"He seems awfully fond of keeping secrets," Rory agreed "Maybe he's trying to protect us."

"From what?" Amy asked "She doesn't seem dangerous."

Rory chuckled "He was your imaginary friend," he pointed out "Maybe he didn't want you to know there was anyone besides you," he kissed the top of his wife's head "Wish he'd said something sooner though."

"Still jealous?" Amy questioned with a mischievous smile, lifting her head so that she could kiss her husband full on the mouth.

"Amy," Rory whispered warningly as she slid her hands up the front of his shirt "We can't," he motioned to Puck who had fallen asleep between them.

Amy got up and carefully lifted the small creature. She moved silently across the room and laid him down on a rather plush chair. She quickly returned to the bed where her husband was waiting and picked up where she'd left off.

Rory took her face in both his hands and kissed her soundly "Amy…" he trailed off.

Amy climbed on top of him and pinned him back against the pillows "He's sound asleep," she said in a low voice "All you have to do is keep from screaming the way you usually do."

"Me?" Rory shot back accusingly, his voice was a little too high in pitch "You're the one who-"

"_Is something wrong?_" Puck asked, lifting his head from the chair and staring at Amy and Rory.

"You're the one who woke him," Amy whispered before turning to Puck "Everything's fine, we just…"

Puck, to his credit was a wise little creature "_Say no more,_" he slid from the chair and headed towards the door to the room "_I will find the Doctor and see if he needs any assistance._"

"Thank you Puck," Amy and Rory said in unison, Rory with embarrassment and Amy with laughter.

"_You are quite welcome my family,_" Puck replied as he exited the room. By the sound of his voice in their heads, it seemed as though he were about to burst into laughter.

XXX

It had been easy to find Rose's old room in the TARDIS, far easier than the Doctor had thought it would be. It was exactly the way she'd left it, messy and cluttered and so very Rose. He had led her their upon their return to the TARDIS and the two of them were sitting in a pair of comfortable armchairs.

Rose was staring at her hands which were folded in her lap. It was several minutes before she spoke "I need to remember," she murmured at last "I know I need to remember, there's something, so important that I've forgotten…" she looked up at the Doctor "Someone so important I can't remember."

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Only Rose could do this sort of thing to him. Only she ruled both his hearts and could crush them with only a few, however unintentional they may be, words. He had the strangest feeling that it was the Metacrisis Doctor that she was really meant to remember.

The Metacrisis Doctor, surely he would have been with her when she'd been brought here? So where was he? Had he simply abandoned Rose to her fate? The Doctor felt anger rising inside him at that thought. How could he ever do such a thing? He found that his teeth were clenched and instantly relaxed, hoping that Rose hadn't noticed. He didn't want to alarm her.

"Are you alright?" she asked, confirming that she had infact noticed.

He had to smile, Rose always noticed. Even with this new face of his, she knew when something was up with him. Yet he decided to answer her the way he always had in the past "I'm always alright."

Rose shook her head but dropped the subject and picked up another one that the Doctor wanted to talk about even less "So Doctor, how is it that you know me? I mean, I'm sorry but I don't remember you at all," she steadied herself with a deep breath but her voice began to shake "You would think someone like you would leave a lasting impression."

"Amnesia is a tricky thing," the Doctor replied glibly in an attempt to change the subject once again. "Earlier, you said something about running?" he questioned, somehow hoping that this would take the focus off of him for a moment.

Rose closed her eyes, willing the memory to surface as she wrapped her arms around herself to shield her from the pain that it brought to her "Yes," she whispered with a small nod. "There was someone… I was running from… and there was pain… I didn't want to…" she growled in frutstraion "Why can't I remember?" she cried out.

"Easy," the Doctor soothed, rising from the chair and crossing the room to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder "Don't try to force it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's alright," Rose replied, offering him a small half smile.

There eyes locked and the Doctor was lost in Rose's gaze. Rose too was equally captured by the Doctor's eyes on her. It was the Doctor who broke away first "I-I have some… something in the console room that needs attending," he said quickly "Why don't you get settled in?"

Rose nodded, capturing his hand as he pulled away "You'll come back though," it was an odd question, she knew it. This was his ship after all. There was no chance of her being left behind as long as she was inside it but somehow she had this overwhelming urge to be sure.

"Yes," he confirmed before making a hasty retreat.

He found himself in the console room and began to busy himself with scanning different components with the sonic. It was something that would keep those who might wander into the console room from asking too many questions and it was an activity that he could do and still think.

Being with Rose had reawakened old feelings and he knew that he wasn't meant to be feeling them. It was wrong, it was all wrong, it was oh-so-very-very wrong. But the way she'd smiled at him just before they'd gone out onto the planet, the way she held his hand just then in her room, it all felt so right.

Ever since his regeneration he'd been trying to put her out of his mind. She'd been the last person he'd visited before he regenerated for a reason. He'd wanted to make a clean break, to move on in his new body without the pain of loss that he had still carried after leaving her to look after his clone. But it was inevitable that the feelings would return as much as he tried to separate himself from those times. A word here, an off-handed remark there, a blond head in a chip shop somewhere and it would all come back.

Regeneration changed a lot of things but feelings never truly were erased or overwritten. Especially for those who were nearest and dearest to him. And they didn't get much nearer and dearer to his hearts than Rose Tyler.

XXX

Rose had decided to go exploring, reasoning that perhaps a more in depth search of the TARDIS would trigger a memory of the kind man. She took a roundabout route and wound up bumping into a redhead who had popped out of a doorway just as Rose turned the corner.

"Oh, hello," Rose greeted the other woman with a friendly smile.

"Hello," Amy replied "I'm Amy," she held out a hand, returning Rose's smile.

Rose's face screwed up for a moment "You were with the Doctor when he found me, weren't you?" she took the offered hand and shook it "Nice to formally meet you. I'm Rose, or so the Doctor tells me…" she trailed off.

"Still no luck with the memories?" Amy inquired.

Rose shook her head sadly "I want to remember, I know I do but every time I try, it's like there's a brick wall in my way," she sighed before adding "And, I'm a bit afraid of what I've forgotten."

"You were in quite a bad way when we found you," Amy nodded "But don't worry," her face brightened "Whatever it is, as long as the Doctor's around you really have nothing to be afraid of."

Rose's smile returned to her face and she beamed softly "He is quite remarkable isn't he? He seems to know me, I wish I could remember him."

"It'll come," Amy assured her before changing the subject "Fancy a cuppa?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Rose replied "Where's the kitchen around here?"

The two women walked off chatting merrily with one another.

XXX

The man walked around the large empty warehouse. Normally the place would be bustling with activity, workers keeping the festival decorations clean and ready for the next Golden Moon Festival but as the festival was in full swing, the man had the place all to himself. He stalked to a computer terminal and typed something in. The rip between universes had successfully been sealed. No one would be coming after those two trouble makers and the girl would not be able to flee back to the safety of her world's Torchwood. Now all that remained was to track her down.

"Such a shame," he growled down at the shell of a man at his feet "Such a pretty little thing. Too bad she has to die."

"You will fail," the man promised. Though his voice was weak it held a level of certainty and firmness that made the criminal mastermind wonder what could possibly give this broken being such hope in the face of his certain doom.

The sadistic man kicked the indignant prisoner in the ribs "Why don't you just die already," he spat, laughing as the man on the ground moaned "You foolish man. You think you've saved her?"

"I know I have," the man responded "Be afraid Admiral…" he gasped for air "A storm is coming and you… will, not… escape it," with that the prisoner fell into unconsciousness and the Admiral dragged him back into the small cage in the corner.

"Such a shame your time is limited," the Admiral smirked at the unconscious man "I do so enjoy our little meetings," he laughed "Well," he was murmuring mostly to himself now "Perhaps you will last long enough to witness the sacrifice of your beloved to bring about the new age Mr. Smith."

**A/N: Uh-oh, what did Kelly go and do? Did she go and do an evil thing? Please let me know what you think. I'll try to update again soon but don't get used to these once a day updates boys and girls. I wish I was that fast and that good a writer but I'm not.**


	4. Chapter 4: And It Haunts Her

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 4: And It Haunts Her**

**A/N: You lucky, lucky people. It seems as though I've found another chapter in me. This is gonna get complicated a bit and I'm flying by the seat of my pants here so you'll have to give me a little bit of leeway here because I'm making up stuff for this story and taxing and over taxing my poor brain so please, I beg you to forgive me for the craziness about to ensue and any plot holes that may or may not be big enough for trucks to drive through or that may or may not make this story look like swiss cheese.**

**Last night after I updated the site experienced a bit of shut down and as a result, my update was left buried on the second page where it was after adding chapter two. So to anyone who wants to leave a review for chapter three as well as this one, I would be grately appreciative. I hope all of you enjoy.**

After a warm cup of tea and some sandwiches with Amy, and Rory who had eventually joined them, Rose went in search of the Doctor. She headed to the console room to find him still fiddling with the sonic. She plopped herself down in a seat and cleared her throat.

He looked at her "Hello," he smiled softly.

"Hello," she responded.

He pocketed the sonic screwdriver and moved to sit beside her. He found himself taking one of her hands into his. "Rose," he murmured "My Rose…"

"I wish you'd explain all of this to me," she replied, her eyes searching his for something that would spark her memory.

"I wish I could," he said softly, knowing that when she did inevitably remember, she would remember the Metacrisis Doctor, the Doctor who stayed when he himself had left her behind. He selfishly feared her memories. As much as he knew she wanted to remember and as much as he knew it would help him to determine what it was that had happened to her, part of him wanted things to continue as they were at that moment. Him and Rose, together. And another part of himself hated him for wanting this.

"Why not?" Rose questioned, reaching up with her free hand and touching the side of his face tenderly "Please Doctor. I can tell that we have a history. I see it when you look at me. You know me so well and I know barely nothing of you."

"It's…" the Doctor began "Rose, there are so many things that I want to tell you but," he stopped abruptly when she leaned forward and kissed him.

One of her hands went to the back of his neck as one of his lost itself in her hair. His other arm wrapped itself tightly around her waist and pulled her closer as the kiss deepened. Rose leaned back in her seat, pulling the Doctor down on top of her.

For a moment, one blissful moment, the Doctor lay on top of her. His was head fuzzy with pleasure. He was here, with Rose. But reality, as it often does, came crashing back. He sat up and pulled away, leaving Rose looking at him with confusion written all over her face.

There was silence in the console room for a long time. It was the most awkward and heavy silence that the TARDIS had seen in a long time. Fose at last cleared her throat and stood "I suppose I should be off to bed," she informed him as she turned to leave.

"Rose…" the Doctor opened his mouth but all that got out was her name before he trailed off.

"Don't," she replied in a ghost of a voice before running for her room. She was so confused. What was going on? Who was this Doctor who knew her and who she seemed to trust implicitly? How had she come to be in that alley? Why had she been running and what had she been running from?

She reached her room and threw herself onto the bed, tears falling from her eyes as she clutched a pillow to her chest. She'd forgotten everything about who she was. She wanted to remember, desperately.

She eventually cried herself to sleep.

XXX

"Get away from her," the voice was low but firm. Rose felt comforted by the sound. She became aware of her surroundings. It was dark and there was a hand gripping her wrists painfully tight.

"I don't think so," a sinister voice replied. Rose somehow knew that it was the voice of the person holding her captive.

In an instant Rose felt herself knocked to the ground by the force of someone tackling the man holding her. She felt gentle hands helping her to her feet and the next thing she knew, they were running.

"You can't," she was standing face to face with the man who had rescued her, her eyes locked with his, she was pleading with him "It'll kill you."

"And if I don't do it, then we both die," he told her as he cupped her face "I won't let that happen. I'm going to do it Rose, I'm going to force the TARDIS here. He'll find you. You'll be safe. I promise."

"I won't let you," she told him, snatching the piece of TARDIS coral from his hands "We can find out way back to Pete's world. Just don't leave me," she began crying.

Gentle arms wrapped around her "I love you," he whispered, disarming her with a kiss. Her grip on the TARDIS coral and he took it from her "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Rose but I have to do this," he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the TARDIS coral. "Now RUN!"

XXX

Rose shot up from her bed in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face. She ran for the console room without thinking about it. The Doctor was still there. She grabbed him by the arm and turned him to face her "I remember!" she shouted "And I need your help!"

The Doctor stared at her with wide eyes for only the briefest of momehts before he nodded in understanding. "Rose, how did you get here?" he asked.

"There's no time for that!" she screamed "I've wasted too much time waiting for my memories to come back! We have to go NOW!" She began dragging the Doctor in the direction of the TARDIS doors "We might still be able to save him!"

Puck entered the console room just as Rose had started pulling the Doctor towards the doors. Neither of them seemed to be paying him any mind and he would have passed them straight by if he hadn't noticed the frantic expression on Rose's face. For a moment he thought of getting Amy and Rory but it was the middle of the night and the couple was sleeping. As Rose pulled the Doctor through the TARDIS doors Puck decided to follow them to make sure they didn't get into any trouble.

He didn't know yet just how much trouble Rose was leading them into.

As she dragged the Doctor through the streets of Maladorius she spoke frantically "He magnetized the piece of TARDIS coral you gave him, that's how you came here. There's this man, the Admiral, that's what he calls himself. I don't have a single clue what he's the admiral of..."

"But why bring you here?" the Doctor asked "Why bother crossing the Void?"

Rose didn't answer him. She knew that if she did that he would make her stop and take her back to the TARDIS. The reason John had sacrificed himself was because this Admiral, planned to use her as a conduit for the energy that was released at the full brightness of the Golden moon. The energy needed an organic conduit and because of the residue of the time vortex that still existed within her DNA thanks to the Bad Wolf, she was the perfect candidate.

The Admiral had made no secret of the fact that the experience would kill her but give birth to a new order, giving the Admiral the power to lord over the entire universe and any other universe he chose to annex.

"It's this way!" Rose said, turning down a side street and coming to a stop in front of a large warehouse. "The Admiral will be at the back where his computer terminals are set up. If John's still alive, he'll be there too."

The Doctor used the sonic screwdriver to unlock the large door. He looked worriedly at Rose before he entered first. She attempted to step in front of him but he pushed her behind him, refusing to allow her to put herself in the line of fire if he could help it.

XXX

John Smith, the Metacrisis Doctor, clawed at consciousness with everything he had. He was going to die soon, he knew that. There was nothing that could be done to stop it. To magnatize the TARDIS coral so that the little thing, stil growing, still small, could draw its parent to this planet, he'd had to expose himself to some very lethal energy forces that were killing him.

He was surprised that he hadn't already died. He must have been a bit more Time Lord than he'd thought. As he lay, staring at the bars of the cage that his jailer had seen fit to leave him in, he began to laugh. He knew he had won. The Admiral's wicked plan could not come to pass as long as Rose was beyond his reach. And John knew that the Doctor would make sure of that. They were the same after all.

Different faces now, different personalities and different fashion sense but he knew that the original Doctor still loved Rose with all of his two hearts and would do anything to protect her.

The Admiral was soon standing over him "Wipe that smirk off your face," he ordered.

"No," John replied with self satisfaction. The pain of the Admiral's boot in his stomach did nothing to diminish his laughter. The pain of the raw energy that was liquefying his organs made it almost unnoticeable anymore.

"You think you're so smar," the Admiral hissed "I will find her."

"No," John continued to laugh "No, you won't."

"You think you're so smart," the Admiral growled.

"Oh… I am…" John gasped out "I'm… brilliant! And… you've.. lost."

"John!" a yell from the far side of the room made the laughter die on John's lips. He strained to lift his head and all hope left him as he saw Rose, attempting to push past a young looking man.

"Damn," the part Time Lord murmured as his head fell backwards "Why Rose, why did you have to come back…?"

"It appears I will prevail after all," the Admiral smirked down at his prisoner.

"Don't count on it!" the youngish looking man, the Doctor, proclaimed "Whatever it is you're planning, I'm going to stop you!"

The Admiral's gaze shifted from his prisoner to the Doctor "Really, Doctor. I don't think you will stop me," he crossed the room to stand before the newcomer "Yes," he said to his visitor's bewildered expression "I know all about you. I didn't need to beat it out of the weakling over there, for you see, I've been watching you for a long time Doctor. I know many things about you."

"Then you know I will stop you," the Doctor stated plainly.

The Admiral laughed "I know Doctor, that you are weak compared to me. Look at you," he pointed mockingly at the man "You haven't even figured it out yet," he turned his head in the direction of John's prone form "Even he figured it out and he's a genetic mistake, shouldn't have been able to figure it out and it took him a while but he figured it out. Thoug he apparently still thought that you were a match for me."

The Doctor gazed long and hard at the Admiral "You're a Time Lord," he murmured, recognition coming over his face. "The Admiral, you're supposed to be dead, you and te rest of your little band."

"Oh but we're not Doctor," the Admiral smiled "Me and all my associates are very much alive, scattered across the multiverse but still very much alive. And once to Golden Moon reaches its peak at the height of the festival, I will unite them all and we will rule."

"I won't let you do that," the Doctor said in a low dangerous voice.

The Admiral threw his head back, releasing a long loud burst of hearty laughter "Oh my dear, insignificant little Doctor, you are doing quite the opposite," his gaze shifted to Rose "For not only will you not be able to stand in my way but you've delivered the last piece of the puzzle right into my clutches."

The Admiral reached out in an attempt to grab Rose and pull her to him but the Doctor stopped him, taking the other Time Lord's arm, twisting it violently and hurling him to the ground "Don't you touch her," he growled.

"Good show," came a weak cheer from where John was lying.

The Admiral recovered quickly and pinned the Doctor to the floor. He knelt on top of the Doctor's chest, one of his feet pressing into the Doctor's throat. The Doctor gasped for breath and felt himself about to pass out when he saw Rose out of the corner of his eye. She leapt forward in one swift motion and kicked the Admiral in the face.

The Admiral fell backwards and the Doctor found himself able to breathe again "Nicely done," he praised Rose as she held out a hand to help him to his feet.

"Thank you," Rose replied.

"You… you…" the Admiral seethed as he pulled himself up to his full height and faced the blond woman, fury blazing in his eyes. He was completely ignoring the Doctor "You are lucky that for the time being, I need you alive," he growled.

This time when he reached to grab Rose the Doctor wasn't able to stop him as Rose was at that moment standing between him and the Admiral, trying to shield him. She was jerked so violently that she stumbled as the Admiral brought her in close "But that doesn't mean I can't give you something to be afraid of. He pulled a device from his pocket and stabbed it into Rose's neck. He pressed a button on the device and she screamed as the torture mechanism sent waves of unimaginable pain through her body. The energy exploded from different points and ripped holes in the fabric of her clothes. Rose crumpled to the ground in a heap and lay motionless. The only sign that she was still alive was her ragged and shallow breathing.

"That'll keep you quiet for a while," the Admiral smirked with satisfaction. He retrieved the torcher device and faced the Doctor who was glaring with hatred at him. "Now what to do with you Doctor," he smirked "From what I know of you it would be pointless to offer you a postion in the new Universal order that my comrades are about to bring about. But what to do with you… I know, oh yes I know. Oh you will be quite useful after all," in a lightening fast movement the Admiral had thrust the torcher device into the Doctor's chest. Full Time Lords weren't affected as badly by the device unless the energy was delivered directly to the hearts.

The Doctor clutched at his chest as he attempted to suppress the scream that passed through his parted lips as he collapsed. He was rencered completely helpless, unable to move, staring up at the Admiral as he sneered down in return.

"Relax Doctor," the Admiral told him as he lifted Rose's limp body from the floor "We still have a few hours until the show begins."

**A/N: Oh, did I do an evil thing again? Let me know what you think?**


	5. Chapter 5: All For Love

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 5: All for Love**

**A/N: And of course for some reason I've managed to finish chapter five. You lucky, lucky people. This chapter is for A Who Down in Whoville for sending me reviews for chapters two, three and four all in one day and because I gave her such a hard time about her evil cliffies. I must concede and say that as many of you can complain about the way this chapter ends as you want. Again I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one. The more reviews I get the more inspiration I feel and I've gotta tell you, this chapter tapped just about the last dregs of my inspiration. I am pretty exhausted mentally and physically from writing this. So I am begging you wonderful readers to revigorate my soul and my muse with your reviews. Please enjoy this chapter.**

"_My family,_" Puck called out telepathically "_The Doctor and his Rose Tyler are in great danger. I do not believe I will be able to help them by myself._"

Amy awoke with a start to find her husband had also just been roused from his slumber. She sat up beside Rory and placed a hand on his arm "Puck?" she asked.

"Yeah," Rory replied "Something about the Doctor being in danger."

"Yeah," Amy confirmed as she got out of bed, picking up clothes from the floor and pulling them on.

"Wait Amy," Rory was attempting to talk sense to her even as he to was getting dressed "We don't even know where they are."

"I'm not just going to sit here and do nothing," Amy told him firmly "We'll search the whole island if we have to."

"_That will not be necessary,_" Puck's voice came from the open door of their room "_I will show you the way but we must hurry._"

XXX

The Doctor found himself lying on his side facing John who was staring at him with indignance. The Admiral was by the computer terminals hooking Rose up to some machinery. The paralyzing effects of the torture device were wearing off and the Doctor could now move slightly without too much pain.

"So," John began in a labored voice "Let's hear it."

"Hear what?" the Doctor questioned.

"Your brilliant plan to save the day," John clarified.

"My brilliant plan?" the Doctor questioned.

"Yeah," John replied "Mine was bringing you here, what's yours."

"I'm working on it," the Doctor replied as he gritted his teeth against the pain caused by placing his hand in his inside coat pocket and fumbling around "Lucky me," he grinned "He didn't take my sonic screwdriver."

"That is lucky," John replied with a half smile "Took mine first chance he got."

With great care and slow, labored movement, the Doctor pointed the sonic at John. A grim expression came over his face "I can't do much for you without the medical equipment in the TARDIS." He fiddled with the sonic a bit and again waved it over John "This should at least prevent any further deterioration."

John laughed, finding it a bit easier to breathe now "I knew I was a dead man from the moment I decided to bring you here. I wasn't expecting I'd last this long."

"You'll last a good deal longer if I have anything to say about it," the Doctor promised him.

"Don't be foolish," John's tone was firm "Best case scenario you stop the Admiral and you'll be just in time to catch my last words."

"Don't talk like that," the Doctor insisted "She needs you."

"She'll still have you," John told him "Now stop waisting time and go save our girl."

The Doctor smiled sadly at his clone before attempting to pull himself upright "It's been a pleasure John Smith," he said before aiming the sonic at the cage door.

"Not many people I'd rather be imprisoned with," John chuckled, raising a hand in a feeble salute.

The Admiral was far to busy struggling with Rose, who even though she was still in a lot of pain from the torture device and her movements were much slower than they normally would have been, was still managing to put up quite a fight. She noticed the Doctor approaching and switched tactics. She stilled and faced the Admiral straight on "You mentioned that there were others," she began "Other Time Lords like you."

The Admiral smirked, as many an evildoer is prone to, he couldn't help gloating and explaining the true terror of his master plan to his victim. "There are other like me," he grinned malevolently "Time Lords who centuries ago refused to be complacent and abide by the rules of time and space that our high and mighty leaders saw fit to impose."

"So where are all of your loyal associates now?" Rose asked in a mocking tone that earned her a slap across the face.

"The Time Lords chased us and were successful in defeating us," the Admiral growled "In the battle, the universe was torn and we wer scattered to the corners of the multiverse. But with the power I am about to gain thanks to you my dear, I will be able to rip realities apart and unite us once again."

"Do you know what sort of damage that could do?" Rose asked indignantly. John had explained to her the dangers of simply using the dimensional canon and she understood that this was much, much worse "Entire planets could fall into the Void."

"Do you think I care?" the Admiral asked her "Not all Time Lords are like your simpering bleeding hearts Doctor you know."

The Doctor slowly made his approach, sneaking up behind the Admiral as the pompous Time Lord boasted to Rose about his plan. He balled one of his hands into a fist and prepared to launch it at the back of the Admiral's head.

XXX

"_His plan will unfold when the Golden Moon reaches perigee in thirty minutes,_" Puck explained as he led Amy and Rory through the warehouse.

"And you say that somehow Rose is an integral part of this Admiral's plan?" Amy asked.

"_Yes,_" Puck confirmed "_When I came to fetch you, he was wiring her up to some sort of machinery._"

"What makes her so special?" Rory wondered "Why use her and not just any human?"

"Maybe it has something to do with the Doctor," Amy remarked.

They reached the back area of the warehouse. Amy and Rory crouched down so as not to be seen as they surveyed the situation. Amy tapped Rory on the shoulder and indicated the prone man at the far end of the room "Who do you suppose he is?"

"Don't know," Rory replied "He doesn't look as though he's doing too well though."

"Why don't you go check on him?" Amy suggested "I'll go help the Doctor free Rose."

"What?" Rory asked, his voice taking on that high pitch again.

"Keep your voice down," Amy whispered harshly at him "You're the one with medical training here."

"_I will be with Mistress Amy to protect her,_" Puck assured Rory.

Rory knew that there was no point arguing with Amy over this, besides, she was right. He simply patted Puck on the head "There's a good chap," he murmured as he slunk forward, towards the man.

Amy and Puck quickly made their way to the Doctor's side.

XXX

The Doctor's fist collided with the back of the Admiral's head. The punch sent him straight into Rose who fell to the floor. "Well," the Doctor said to himself as the Admiral turned round "Didn't really think that through all that well."

"That was your big plan!" John shouted from the other end of the room "Punch him! That wasn't very smart of you!"

"You're not helping!" the Doctor yelled back, his attention diverted by John long enough that the Admiral was able to land a punch of his own.

"Whoops," John murmured "Best stay out of this one then…"

"Doctor!" Amy called out as she came to his aid.

"In comes the cavalry," John grinned as Rory reached his side "And who might you be then?"

"Rory Williams,," Rory said quickly, helping John out of his cage "And that," he indicated Amy "Is my absolutely fantastic wife Amy."

"Brilliant!" John exclaimed. He studied Rory's face a little more intently "Pleased to meet you!" John shook Rory's hand with what was supposed to be a hearty grip but did not come off as such. John managed to stand with Rory's help though he staggered quite badly.

"Amy get back!" the Doctor ordered when he saw the Admiral going for his torture device.

"What for?" Amy asked even as the Doctor pushed her out of the way.

The Admiral lunged with the device, catching the Doctor in the arm with it. The Doctor growled but shook off the pain that the jolt had caused. He placed his hand over the device, ripping it from his arm and tossing it over his shoulder "Not this time mate," he snarled as he lunged at the Admiral.

Whilst the Admiral and the Doctor were scuffling on the ground, throwing punches and kicks, Amy went to Rose and began examining the different wires that she was connected to.

"What do I do?" Amy asked in confusion "Do I just start pulling these things out?" she asked as she grabbed a long purple wire that seemed to run into Rose's left wrist and tugged it.

"Ouch!" Rose screeched "It can never be easy, can it?"

"Sorry," Amy apologized.

"Not your fault," Rose said, panting slightly from the remnance of the pain left by the shock from the wire "He put that one in a while back. The one just in the crook of my right arm is the one he put in last. Try that one."

Amy tugged on the orange wire that ended somewhere within Rose's arm. She tugged and she tugged and after tugging out about a foot of wire the thing came free without any shock to Rose.

"That seemed to work," Rose remarked "Try that light blue wire, he put that in before the orange one."

The light blue wire went about three inches into Rose's neck and Amy removed it without any problem. "Which one next?" she asked.

"The gold one maybe…?" Rose muttered, unsure. Amy tugged on the gold wire "Oww!" Rose very nearly passed out.

"Okay," Amy murmured "Not the gold wire."

"You think you can stop me!" the Admiral growled as he grappled with the Doctor.

"I know I will," the Doctor growled in return as the Admiral rolled on top of him and began choking him. The Doctor punched the Admiral in the face and his grip loosened. The Doctor managed to clamber to his feet "The power you're after. No one is supposed to be able to have that. No one is supposed to be able to do the things you're talking about."

The Admiral fumbled around on the floor until his fingers gripped something. He smiled evilly at the Doctor "No one but me and you will not stand in my way," he lunged and struck the Doctor in the chest with the torture device once again. The jolt was extra long. Even when the Doctor had lost his breath from screaming and had collapsed to the floor, paralyzed, the Admiral kept the device firmly in place. He glowered down at the soon-to-be vanquished Time Lord and laughed "I told you that you wouldn't win."

The Doctor's eyes were about to roll back in his head from the pain. An overdose of the type of energy straight to the hearts of a Time Lord was one of the ways that would ensure death and he could feel it, death was close. He had let so many people down, never mind the whole of reality, he had failed Rose. She was going to die in this sick twisted man's plan to dominate the whole of creation and she was going to die. He had lost.

And just as he was accepting his defeat Amy Pond, wonderful impossibly, brave Amy Pond snatched the device from the Admiral's hand and pocketed it "Back off," she ordered.

The Admiral stood up and faced Amy "Fine, I'll allow him to live. He won't be able to move for quite some time anyway. There's no way your precious Doctor can stop me," he pushed past Amy and returned to Rose's side. Amy had succeeded in disconnecting only a handful of wires which the Admiral quickly reattached. He turned and smirked at the Doctor.

"Less than two minutes to go Doctor," he grinned gleefully as an odd sort of misty glow surrounded Rose "It is beginning. The death of your beloved. The girl who saw into the heart of the TARDIS, the Bad Wolf, will die and a new reality will be born."

**A/N: Feel free to yell at me. I welcome your comments with open arms. And if you are reading this, it means that the site actually let me update this story and my long hours of frustration that feel like years, have come to an end.**


	6. Chapter 6: Just Let Me Hold You

**Who Are You? Who Am I?**

**Chapter 6: Just Let Me Hold You**

**A/N: Special thanks to Brave Soul RMS who was the one to give me the secret to bypassing the site glitch. I would have wrote said thanks last chapter but for the fact that I was too excited about the fact that I could actually update to make any major changes to my author's notes. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Don't be afraid to cry. I was listening to the song "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas for most of the time that I was writing this. If you've ever heard the song then you know that the chapter title also comes from that song.**

With all the energy John could muster he charged at the Admiral. The Admiral didn't see John as a threat and so was totally caught off guard when John round house kicked him square in the chest, knocking him to the ground where he lay motionless. John fell to his knees beside the Admiral, panting hard. He searched the pockets of the tyrant and was able to locate his sonic screwdriver.

A few seconds of aiming the device at the computer terminal and he had what he needed. It didn't take him long to disconnect the wires from Rose in the correct order. When she was free he took his last opertunity to kiss her "Goodbye," he said simply, pushing her away in Amy's direction.

"Goodbye…?" Rose asked, tears in her eyes "What do you mean 'Goodbye'?"

"I'm dying Rose and nothing can stop that," John told her as he knelt over the Doctor's paralyzed form "But I can still save the world one last time."

The Doctor looked up at his clone as John pressed his fingertips to the Doctor's temples. The Doctor's eyes widened as his mind flooded with new memories, John's memories. Everything that had happened to him since the moment he came into existence in the TARDIS. The Doctor knew what John was planning. Without a conduit to channel the energy through, the raw energy would rip open the Void. And John was planning to seal it off from the inside.

John pulled away and motioned to Rory "Rory good old Rory, take him and get as far away from here as possible." He turned to Amy "Same to you, make sure you get Rose as far away from this place as you can. Whatever happens," he was speaking to both of them "Don't let go of either of them."

"I'm not leaving," Rose said defiantly.

John's eyes misted over as he approached her "You have to," he told her, his voice breaking. He turned to Amy "Get her out of here, please."

Amy nodded and began to drag a reluctant Rose away. While Rory hoisted the immobile Doctor into a fireman's carry and followed his wife.

Puck was about to follow them when he saw John fall to his knees "_My family,_" the small creature said quickly "_I must stay. I feel I will be needed._"

"But-" Amy began but Puck cut her off.

"_I do this for you my family,_" Puck told her firmly.

"We'll be back for you," Rory promised as he and Amy headed for the entrance to the warehouse.

John cast one last look towards the retreating group before turning his attention to the growing glow from amongst the machines where Rose had been only moments before. He could feel his body about to give out on him. He'd used too much energy in the last few moments.

A time display on one of the terminals showed that there were less than ten seconds to perigee. John set his jaw. One last chance to be the hero, for the universe, for Rose.

XXX

Amy and Rory stood on the street outside the warehouse. Amy was cradling a sobbing Rose while Rory sas leaning against the wall of the building with the Doctor slumped against him.

Somehow, impossibly, the Doctor, straining against the paralyzing pain in his body, managed to extend his hand to Rose who took it and held on to it as if it were a lifeline. She moved closer to the Doctor and with her other hand brushed the hair out of his face. His eyes were full of pain and her heart broke even more. She wanted to say something but words completely and utterly failed her.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered through the pain that jabbed at him still "I… I am so sorry…" and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"What's that?" Amy questioned, pointing up in the sky. A beam of golden light was coming straight from the Golden Moon right to the warehouse itself.

"It's starting," the Doctor murmured as his grip on Rose's hand increased.

Amy and Rory looked at each other in confusion as Rose and the Doctor's hair both started whipping around in an invisible wind. Yet Amy and Rory were unaffected. Rory found that something was tugging the Doctor away from his side and he tightened his grip as Amy grasped Rose around the waist to keep her from flying away.

XXX

The Admiral had just started to pull himself to his feet when the Void tore open. He grabbed at a nearby pipe that was attached to the wall nearest him. John was bracing himself against a computer terminal. He had to wait for the Admiral to be sucked into the Void first. He couldn't risk this man being able to attempt this plan again in the future.

Puck somehow sensed that the Admiral had to be made to go into the Void so he began jumping at the Time Lord, biting him repeatedly until the Admiral growled, kicking the little beast against the far wall where Puck bounced off and crumpled into a heap. The Admiral laughed bitterly at the little beat. But in his attempts to shake the creature, his grip on the pipe had loosened. He fell screaming into the Void.

John grinned "Thank you little friend," he called to Puck as he let go of the terminal, sonic screwdriver at the ready to seal the Void off once he was sucked in. "Allons-y!" he shouted for the last time as he flew into the tear in reality.

XXX

The unseen wind stopped and Amy and Rory were finally able to release their grips upon the Doctor and Rose. The Doctor slumped to the ground without Rory holding him up and Rose dropped to her knees beside him, cradling him in her arms as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Amy and Rory would have noticed the interaction between the two if it weren't for the beam of golden light having captured their entire attention. The beam shot back towards the Golden Moon and in a matter of moments the moon exploded in a shower of golden light. The explosion lit the sky, making it appear as it were midday.

There were several smaller explosions from the computer terminals inside the warehouse. Amy and Rory locked eyes "Puck," they both said in unison, bolting into the building.

The Doctor's forehead rested against Rose's shoulder "Oh Rose," he whispered. He was overcome with guilt. If he hadn't allowed himself to fall victim so easily to the Admiral then he wouldn't have been paralyzed and John might have survived long enough for the Doctor to be able to treat him properly. There had to have been another way other than John's sacrifice.

"There wasn't another way," she whispered as she ran a hand through his hair and scooted a little closer to him "Does it still hurt?" she asked, concerned.

"Not… if I… don't move," he attempted to chuckle but it ended in a pained moan "It'll… were off… in a few hours."

"He almost killed you," Rose whispered, her words edged with teroor "You could have died right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt so helpless," she kissed the top of his head "Thank God for Amy."

"Thank God… for John," the Doctor whispered in return "If it weren't for him, we'd all be dead right now…"

"Doctor!" Amy called as she and Rory emerged from the door of the building. Amy was holding a limp form in her arms.

Rose wiped her tears away and took a deep breath, attempting to put her emotions in check as she saw Amy and Rory approaching, distraught looks on their faces. Rose carefully maneuvered so that she was sitting beside the Doctor who, now that she got a good look at his face, appeared pale and drawn.

Amy lay the small creature on the sidewalk before the Doctor "Can you help him?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"Rose," the Doctor murmured "Help me… Put my hand… on his head…" Rose silently did as she was told, tenderly taking the Doctor's hand and laying it atop Puck's head. The Doctor's eyes drifted closed as he concentrated "He's dying," the Doctor said finally, his eyes remaining closed.

"No," Amy whispered as her husband enveloped her in his arms.

Without being asked, Rose removed the Doctor's hand from Puck's head and held it tight. As the population of Maladorius came out onto the streets to look up into the heavens at the remnants of their Golden Moon in shock and surprise, the small group huddled on the sidewalk in front of the warehouse went completely unnoticed.

A purple mist surrounded the lifeless body of the small creature. All eyes save for the Doctor's widened as the mist cleared, revealing a small, pink, stark naked, infant. In the brilliant light cast by the falling pieces of the exploded moon the baby opened his eyes and let out a soft cooing.

"What?" Amy questioned, looking to the Doctor for an explanation.

"Odd little thing the Ossynx," the Doctor attempted to chuckle though pain still coarsed through him and it sounded rather feeble.

"So that's Puck?" Rory questioned as Rose helped the Doctor to lay so that his head was in her lap.

"Yeah," the Doctor told him "Just look at him. Remind you of anyone?"

Rory's gaze turned to the infant. The baby boy was noticeably ginger with a nose that mirrored Rory's.

Amy gaped at the child and then looked to Rory "He looks like us," she breathed.

"He can regenerate?" Rose questioned.

"No," the Doctor corrected "It's more of a reincarnation. Ossynx are incredibly fragile and short lived. Most of their adult life is spent finding a family with which to bond. When they die, and I must admit I wasn't expecting it would happen this soon…" he trailed off for a moment as he caught his breath. He really did hate being this helpless.

Rose ran a hand over his face "Don't try to talk so fast," she advised.

The Doctor took another deep breath before continuing "Anyway, when an Ossynx dies, its DNA changes completely. It becomes the species of the family that it's bonded with," he paused again and managed a smile at Amy and Rory "Ponds, meet your son."

XXX

Several hour later the Doctor opened his eyes to see Rose standing over him. She was pressing a cool cloth to his forehead and watching him carefully. When she saw his eyes opening she smiled that smile of hers that always got to him. And he smiled back.

"Hello," he said, his voice a bit raspy from the hours of disuse.

"How are you feeling?" she asked attentively.

"Exhausted," he replied "Which is unusual for me. But I'm not in any more pain if that's what you're asking."

"I'm glad," Rose reached down and touched his cheek tenderly "You had us worried for a while there."

"The last thing we need is an out of commission pilot when we've got a newborn onboard," Amy replied, her head appearing at the edge of the Doctor's field of vision.

"And how is the little fellow?" the Doctor asked as he attempted to sit up. It was then that he saw the bundle that Amy was cradling against her shoulder.

"He's doing just fine," Amy remarked, kissing the peach fuzz covered head. "He's been awful quitet though. Hasn't tried to talk to me at all since he changed."

"Well he wouldn't," the Doctor told her "He's completely human now. Genetically yours and Rory's child. There's very little left of the Puck you knew before… And where did you find baby clothes in the TARDIS?" he questioned with extreme curiosity.

"You didn't know the wardrobe room has a section tucked away at the back full of baby clothes?" Rose inquired, eyeing him with bemusement.

"I… well… no…" the Doctor suddenly found himself squirming under her gaze. He cleared his throat "Anyway, like I said, it's like what you'd call reincarnation. He might have fleeting memories now and then of his past life as he grows up but there's no way he'll ever remember everything."

"That's a relief," Amy sighed "I was terrified that he was mad at me or something he was being so quiet… at least in my mind."

Rose laughed "I'm surprised he didn't wake you up sooner Doctor. Got a good set of lungs on him that one. Can hear him in Amy and Rory's room all the way from the console room."

The Doctor grinned and stood up. He walked over to Amy and placed a hand on the infant's tiny back "I told you that you chose well little Puck."

"That's not his name anymore," Amy corrected.

"It's not?" the Doctor questioned.

"No," Amy confirmed "Rory and I had a long talk about the trouble he could get into in his teens with a name like that," she pulled a face.

"So what's his name now?" the Doctor asked.

Amy fell silent, her gaze falling on Rose. Rose stepped up beside the Doctor and took his hand "While you were asleep I had a chance to explain to Amy and Rory all about… you know… us and what happened and…" she trailed off, her gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. She steadied herself with a deep breath and continued "They've decided to name him John."

"John Pond-Williams," Rory smiled broadly as he entered the room.

The Doctor was silent for a moment choosing his next words very carefully "Amy, Rory," he began "I can say this with absolute certainty. He would be honored and I am honored and I think it's an absolutely perfect name."

The new parents smiled at the Doctor and then at one another. Rory took baby John from Amy before leading his wife out of the room, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone.

The Doctor cleared his throat a bit awkwardly "Rose," he began.

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her head against his chest, tilting her chin up so that she was gazing at him "Do you suppose the Admiral's gone for good?" she asked. That evil Time Lord had almost taken everything from her and she wanted to know that he would never return.

"Did Amy and Rory find a body?" the Doctor asked, countering her question with a question.

"No," Rose answered "But all those explosions… he must have been vaporized or sucked into the Void, right?"

The Doctor dropped into a sitting position on the bed, pulling Rose with him "We can only hope Rose," he replied softly as he tore his eyes from hers and looked off into the distance as if the answer to the question of the Admiral's supposed demise was written on the far wall.

After a few moments Rose spoke again. She adjusted herself in the Doctor's lap so that she could look at him more squarely "Just before John…" her words failed her for a moment "He did something, told you something telepathically. What did he say?"

"He didn't really say anything," the Doctor smiled softly "But he gave me something."

Rose looked bewildered by the Doctor's words "Gave you something?"

"Yes Rose," the Doctor confirmed "Memories, his memories," he tapped his head "He gave me two and a half years worth of his life. Everything that he and you did together. I remember it as if it happened to me…"

A look of comprehension crossed Rose's face and she returned the Doctor's soft smile "Clever man, the both of you," she moved closer as if she was about to kiss him when she pulled back abruptly a look of concern coming over her face "Did it hurt?" she asked "Him dumping all of that into your head in a matter of seconds."

"No," the Doctor replied "It just surprised me is all."

Rose reached a hand up and rested it on the back of his head "I would have never forgivien him if he'd hurt you," she replied.

The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes "He didn't hurt me, I promise you," he assured.

Rose pressed her lips to his "I'm glad." She told him "You know," she continued "John's memories or not, I love you."

The Doctor felt a bit awkward and fidgeted a bit, not saying anything for a long time.

Rose took the opertunity to keep talking. All the while she felt strange that she was the one doing so much talking this time "You told me back on that beach that he was you. He was a great deal like you but he was himself too. And I loved him, all of him. But I never forgot about you and it was hard for me at first to accept that I was in love with two men at once. But I let myself love both of you. And I still love both of you. If everything that was John is up there," she tapped his head "Then I have both the men I love all rolled into one and-"

The Doctor cut her off with a long, passionate, kiss. He moaned into her open mouth with pleasure and when Rose finally pulled away to catch her breath, he whispered "Rose Tyler, I have, do and always will love you."

**THE END**

**A/N: Okay, this is the last chapter boys and girls. Unfortunately because I cannot access the story properties page I cannot mark it as complete or change the summary to say that it's complete so until further notice you're just going to have to believe me. I do have a sequel in the planning stages, so keep an eye out for that. It'll be called "Dark Land of the Renegades". All my wonderful readers and reviewers, this is your last chance to leave a review. I would most especially like to know what you've thought of this chapter as I would like to know if you liked my send off to John. It killed me to kill him and that's probably one of the reasons that he stayed alive so long. I just hope that he went out in style. Please review.**


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